4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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