this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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