If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Farmville is her only friend.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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