Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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