That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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