i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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