matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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