i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
