ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
