I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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