If that was your dad, he is hot
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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