Rock
Scissors
Fuck
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
