Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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