Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
