Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize