I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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