I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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