I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
