No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you would pick up someone in the library
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
