Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
