my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
