Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize