There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
