I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
