Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
