Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
