I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
