You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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