How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
