Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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