I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
