C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
