As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
