just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
