Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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