I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
