OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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