no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
