Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
