There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
