So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
