question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize