they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
