I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
