return my video game
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
