Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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