Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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