i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
