Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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