The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
false alarm, still single
Randomize