quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
