Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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