Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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