But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
