I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
