All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize