I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
