I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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