Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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