we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize