I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
