Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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